It’s 3 AM on the last day of my 20’s. In a few hours, I will be on a plane with the love of my life, my mom, and my dad, on our way to the greatest city in the world. There’s so much that this life has given me, and I am so thankful for it.
I am not really scared of 30. 30 was and still is way older than I thought I would ever be. You remember when you were 5 and an adult told you they were 30? And you were like “Ugh! That’s soooooo olllllllllllld!” Yeah, that’s what I mean. And even though I am way older than I thought I would ever be, I haven’t felt younger in my life. This is what 30 feels like? Heck, yeah! Give me more of this!
I keep hearing from other women of my “certain age” that turning 30 is the turning point in a woman’s life. This is where all the proverbial fecal matter that hit the oscillating rotatory has settled and finally, FINALLY I’m just now beginning to find myself. There were a lot of mistakes made in the writing of this post. There were tears, worst-day-evers, and growing pains, most of which led me to a higher level and I wanted to share the few small/big lessons I learned in my 20’s that maybe will resonate with someone.
- Forgiveness Is Hard…and Easy. About 7 years ago, I lost a group of my girlfriends to some stupid fight or another. I won’t go into the specifics mainly because I can’t even remember why or how it all happened. But it was quick and it was final, we were done. What I can say is for those 1.5 to 2 years I was without them, it was just…weird? That sounds like the word for it. I don’t really remember much of that time at all. I’ll call it my gray period. And, somehow, they came back in to my life, slowly, one at a time. I think we were all skittish at first; fast forward 5 years and it’s like nothing ever happened until, usually on girl’s night, after a round of purple alaskans (or three), one of us will tearfully hold the other and say “I’m so glad we’re friends again.” You can’t force forgiveness, it’s not an overnight process. However, if you take it day by day, forgiveness and peace is possible. Like anything else, it’s a process.
- Your Tribe Will Lift You Up. Honestly, I don’t know how I got so freaking lucky to have the “tribe” I have. From my work friends, to my karaoke friends, to my girlfriends, to my theater friends, cosplay friends, my family…the list goes on and on. There are so many people over the years who have been a part of all my crazy ideas. And not once have I really ever really heard anyone go: What? B!tch you crazy! You are not doing that! If you have at least one best friend in your life, you’re doing well. And being a part of a tribe is equally important. Each person has a different way of looking at the world, different skills sets, dreams, passions…and when you have that in a community of supportive people, the world becomes a better place.
- But Did Anyone Die? Starting out in the real estate business on my own about 4 years ago, it was a fast jump from being my mom’s buyer’s agent to BAM! Morgan Overcash, Realtor®. It was all trial and error. A lot of it. Starting out, there was a lot of crying, nervous break downs, and long nights of agonizing over the problems of the day. I remember one particular morning, after unloading about 5 minutes worth of angst onto my broker in charge, I was sobbing. I felt like I was pinned in a corner and couldn’t breathe. Then my BIC, the ever-lovely Colleen Coesens (because I’m not a suck up at all) folded her hands, looked at me, and inquired, “But did anyone die?” Of course, the obvious answer was “no.” Puts things into perspective, though, right? We spend so much time freaking out over what happened and what could potentially happen to us that we’re not taking the time to see what’s happening right now. When I get like that, I ask myself “Is anyone going to die if I don’t…” or “Is someone going to die if I do…” It’s a lesson in letting go, to stop agonizing over the future and the past, and just being in the moment.
- Be Impulsive. I am accused of being impulsive, like it’s a bad thing. And sure, sometimes my crazy ideas don’t turn out to perfection i.e. let’s build a pirate ship in the yard that will ultimately suck up multiple weekends, ruin the yard, and cost more than anyone ever thought. However, from deciding, which is the most important part, not hm’ing and hawing over the how, beauty is created from the chaos. If that ship had never been built, the community may not have come together the way they did, awesome memories and laughter would not have been created, the money for the Palmetto School may not have been raised, and most definitely the neighborhood kids wouldn’t have had a cool pirate ship to play on for the month of Halloween. But the most important lesson is that if you have a dream, just freaking do it already. Decide that you’re going to do something and commit to it and let the details take care of themselves.
- Just Be the Freak You Were Born to Be. How many times have we heard this one. Be (clap) your (clap) self (clap). The times in my life when I was the most happy was when I was doing what I wanted to do, my way. Simple as that. Do I really need to delve any further? If you are waking up every morning absolutely miserable and that feeling never goes away, it’s obvious something in your life is off. Take the time to tune into yourself and ask “what would make me happy in this moment?” And then do it. Put together that puzzle, bake that souflee, dress in drag and do the hula! Be the freak you were born to be, own it.
This is Captain Morgan signing off until next Wednesday. See you on the other side!
Allen Tate Company